A Sister, Chuck Norris, and Poop
by bobweirdy
Summary: Well, I was really bored when I wrote this, and it's just a parody. Percy has a sister, centaurs go wild, barney craps himself, and Chuck Norris hitches a ride from Chiron. Oh yeah, it's that random.


**OK, so I've read some utterly horrible fan fictions in the last few minutes, and now I'm going to attempt my own troll/parody on the series. **

**Don't flame me for bad writing because this is a joke. Hence, the "Parody" section.**

* * *

"Percy!" Grover yelled. He was trotting along a rainbow that suddenly appeared out of nowhere, wearing a rainbow shirt and sunglasses.

I turned around from making out with Annabeth. "What?" I yelled back irritably, while brushing my hair out of my face.

"You have a sister. Bye" he said, trotting off along the rainbow, picking a wedgie, and singing, "We are a family," while holding Juniper's hand.

"Thanks Grover," I said back, then resumed making out with Annabeth.

I went to find my sister after another hour of making out with Annabeth.

I found her at the camp drinking fountain. I knew it was her because I suddenly gained superpowers that allowed me to know everyone I saw. They worked.

"Hi," I greeted her. "You're my sister."

Her jaw dropped. I waved my hand in front of her. "Hello? Are you alive?" I got no response.

After about ten minutes of trying to wake up my sister, Chiron and his centaur friends galloped by. Someone had a shotgun, and was making Native-American sounds, holding the shotgun above his head.

He stopped, aimed, and popped ten rounds right into my sister's head. Once she collapsed, he came over and repeatedly stabbed her with a knife. He then proceeded to hump her body very graphically.

When he was finished, he carried her body to the rest of his centaur friends and cut her up, then ate her.

Annabeth and I watched the whole thing, our jaws practically hitting the floor. Chiron waved us over, holding a piece of my sister. I looked at Annabeth and shrugged. "You can't miss the sister you only knew you had for about five seconds."

We ran over to the group and devoured the rest of the poor girl's body. She tasted like chicken. Fried chicken. With mayonnaise on it. My favorite.

Grover and Juniper had been watching the whole thing, with popcorn. Grover was laughing and puking, while Juniper muttered wildly to herself, shaking and sucking on her thumb.

The centaur with the shotgun stood up on a rock, and said, "I need to make an announcement!"

Everyone quieted down and listened.

The centaur cleared his throat. "I just wanted to say, this has been fun, but none of you will be leaving here alive," he said, then proceeded to laugh maniacally. He raised his shotgun, then took aim and fired.

a resounding shotgun shot sound then shook the Earth.

The centaur then collapsed. "What the hell?" He asked, getting back up. His face was bloody and the right half of his head blown off. "I could've sworn I was pointing this thing away from myself..." He scratched his head.

"Um," I stepped forward. "How are you still alive? You just shot yourself in the head with a shotgun."

"It's really quite simple," A peppy purple dinosaur said. "The author of this story doesn't want him to die."

"ZOMG BARNEY!!!!!!" Annabeth screamed. She ran over and hugged him so hard he shitted himself.

Grover ran over, grabbed Barney's crap, ran to a corner, and growled at anyone who came near him.

Just then, Dionysus stumbled out of the Big House, completely wasted.

"Hzhheeyyy Czzzhhhuuuuucccckkkk." He slurred, waving drunkenly at the kid's TV icon. "Hhhhvvooww wwvvvvvveerreee thaaaaaaaaaaa drugggssss?" He mumbled before passing out.

Barney looked around nervously. "Argh, damnit! I've been discovered!" Barney ripped off the suit, and out popped...... Chuck Norris!

I screamed like a little girl, and ran to Grover's corner to hide. Chuck Norris had scared me since two seconds ago. Anyone who impersonated Barney was crazy in my book.

Chuck Norris ran around in a circle, then jumped on Chiron and shouted, "Giddyap, horsey!" slapping Chiron's flank.

I expected Chiron to slap him or something, or buck him off, but Chiron went wild and ran out of the camp boundaries. We watched in silence. The crazy shotgun centaur raised a sniper rifle, aimed, and dropped Chiron, who toppled Chuck Norris. Soon after, Blood spewed from Chuck Norris's head.

I laughed nervously as the crazy centaur turned to me. "Can't we compromise?"

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**Ok, this was just meant for kicks, not supposed to be good at all. This is a parody, I'm not this bad of a writer. PARODY. P-A-R-O-D-Y. Really, this in no way reflects my writing style. It's not supposed to be good, or even use decent grammar and crap. **

**M'kay bye.**


End file.
